idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
