Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
