if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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