You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
