how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Randomize
