My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
