Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
be right there i have to get my cape
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
