It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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