I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
