I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
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