i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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