so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
