I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
