Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
