whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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