Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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