We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
