i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
