You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
