I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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