I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We just shotgunned beers for America
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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