i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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