i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
