You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
