the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
So vagazzling was a success
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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