How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Randomize
