Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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