there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
