i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
