it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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