Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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