your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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