i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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