Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
