That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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