so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
