She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
