Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
