i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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