Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
