Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
