We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
