you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
