Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
