The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
