Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
