if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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