I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
