Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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