You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
