im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
