During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i think i have herpe
just one?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
