I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
